Finding work when you have anxiety... and other anxiety questions.

Yesterday my youngest baby started school, thus leaving my 9-3 day quite free, and although it is only day 2 of my new found freedom I have been asked a few times what I will do, will I get a job? 

I always reply "Why yes I will look for a small job" because I think that's what people want to hear, why should I be a stay at home mum if my children are in school now?!
(My husband has his own business that I admin etc for, but I work for free, sort of, same pot and all that but it's not 'technically' working)

The problem is, I have a bad case of anxiety that I keep hidden from most of the world. 

From the outside view I am this bubbly larger lady, behind closed doors I am the girl who is funny to hide a multitude of anxieties and self loathing. 

I will probably blog about the trials and tribulations of my head at another time but for now here is a quick insight to the world of me; 

1. I think everyone dislikes me instantly because I am fat 

2. Meeting new people makes my heart beat out my chest and my voice tremble

3. Leaving the house is a daily battle. I'd rather be indoors. 

4. If my husband or friends are with me I am more confident 

5. I don't pick up the phone unless it's someone I know, even then I have to be in the mood to talk

6. I think people talk about me behind my back if I've said anything remotely controversial 

7. I hide all this from the world, I am a good actress

So as you can imagine the prospect of going to an interview or ringing up for a job TERRIFIES me. 

How do I get past this? 

How do I put myself out there? 

Baby steps. I think this may be the answer, however in my head I am just worried people will judge me for not getting a job straight away and staying at home, even though I do help run the family business. 

I am joining a Slimming World group on Tuesday, I text the lady and arranged to go so this to me is a HUGEEEEE deal, walking unknown into a place is something I rarely do, I'd never go to a group alone, but I think this is a baby step. I'm quite proud of myself I must say, but I'll be even more proud when I actually do it. Fingers crossed for me!

So my question this time is this;
How does one get over anxieties with the outside world?
Does anyone have any experience with this sort of anxiety?
and as a side note:
I'd love a job working from home doing bingo CM or chat help or something
does anyone know how to get into this?!

Au Revoir